10个有趣的结婚告白(双语)

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10 Funny Married Confessions

10个有趣的结婚告白

HIDING SOMETHING? YOU’RE NOT ALONE! TAKE A LOOK AT THESE HILARIOUS CONFESSIONS, THEN LEAVE A COMMENT WITH YOUR OWN -- C’MON, WE ALL HAVE SOMETHING TO CONFESS!

隐藏着什么?你不是一个人!看看这些搞笑的忏悔,然后用你自己的留言,来吧,我们都有一件事要跟你坦白!

“I will probably go to the grocery store on Friday and grab a copy of People magazine to look at Kim K’s wedding pictures. I won’t purchase it but instead will walk around the grocery store like it’s a library reading the article and looking like I’m shopping.”

“我周五可能会去杂货店和带一份《人物》杂志看金正日K的婚礼照片。我不会买,而是将在杂货店边走动边阅读这篇文章就像在我喜欢的图书馆里而我看起来像在购物。”

“Confession: I would TOTALLY go to Medieval Times. I’ve always been curious about it. I understand that it’s ridiculous and completely obnoxious and over the top, but I want to see some jousting.”

“忏悔:我完全进入中世纪。我一直好奇。我明白,这是荒谬的和完全讨厌的,但我想看到一些比赛。”

“A very nice coworker has been trapped in the kitchen with a really weird coworker who won’t shut up for the last 20 minutes. I am not volunteering to break it up despite the fact that nice coworker won’t do it and I know he doesn’t want to talk to this guy. (He is comparing making a sandwich to an algorithm.)”

“一个非常好的同事被困在厨房里是因为有一个非常奇怪的同事不会闭嘴在最后的20分钟。我不是自愿停止聊天的尽管好同事不会这样做,我知道他不想跟这个家伙聊天。(他是让一个三明治跟一个算法作比较)。”

“I just had three hot dogs for dinner. It’s leftover night, but I ate all the leftovers for lunch. Therefore, hot dogs.”

“我只有三个热狗吃晚饭。剩下的晚上,但是我吃午饭吃了所有的剩饭剩菜。因此,热狗。”

“I just bought a bunch of stuff from Pier 1 yesterday for my birthday party and intend on taking, like, 75 percent of the stuff back after I use it.”

“我只是昨天从码头1买了一大堆东西为我的生日聚会打算,比如,我回去之后用了75%。”

“When Lucas [son] wants to watch the Power Rangers, I make him watch Power Rangers R.P.M. because these guys are the Rangers: [posts pictures of attractive shirtless actors].”

“当卢卡斯(儿子)想看流浪者,我让他看战队R.P.M.因为这些人是游骑兵:发布图片吸引力赤膊上阵的演员。”

“I like to stick my face in my cat’s belly and rub it around. I wish there was an over-the-counter kitty sedater so I could do it for more than two seconds.”

“我喜欢把我的脸在我的猫的肚子和摩擦。我希望场外有一个稳重的猫咪,这样我就可以做超过两秒钟。”

“I wear aprons. I love wearing them and I usually put one on as I’m getting breakfast made, and it stays on till after dinner is cleaned up.”

“我穿围裙。我爱穿,我通常在我要做早餐时穿上,一直上到晚饭后清理干净才脱下。”

“My dad gave me his tickets to the opening game for the Nebraska football team . My MIL is watching the kids for us. We are leaving super early just to get away from them. I do not give a s*** about Nebraska football, and I was thinking about bringing a book with me, but I knew my H would absolutely kill me.”“我爸爸给了我他的首场布拉斯加州的足球队比赛门票。我是为了看我们的孩子。我们超早离开只是为了躲开它们。我不给* * *内布拉斯加州的足球,我想着我带来了一本书,但我知道我绝对会杀了我。”

“Yesterday I was pulling out of the garage and forgot that DH was parked in the driveway and not the garage (I was in a hurry and wasn’t paying attention) and…yeah, I basically sideswiped his car. Whoops. Just some minor paint damage to his handle but I really considered not telling him and just making something up about him not noticing that he got sideswiped in a parking lot.”

“昨天我退出车库,忘记了停车手册停在车道上,而不是(我很匆忙,没有注意)和…是的,我基本上擦撞他的车。哎呦。只是一些小的油漆损坏处理,但我真的认为不告诉他,只是做一些关于他不注意到他擦撞在停车场。”