构思点拨

上图表现的是在“尚方宝剑”严惩的威严下，一位从事商业贿赂的人落荒而逃。不言而喻，这幅图反映的是当今一种比较猖獗的社会现象：商业贿赂。深层次来讲，就是道德问题、责任问题。本文的内容和结构安排如下：

第一段：描述图画；第二段：从两个角度分析影响+分析动机；第三段：建议措施。

思维拓展

此类文章可以展开的角度有：金钱观，商业道德建设、职业道德建设，公平竞争。相似的图片比比皆是。请参考下图：

 

 高分范文

There is no doubt that this cartoon vividly depicts a negative but rampant scenario in modern society:  commercial bribery. Frightened by the sharp punishment sword， the man,  carrying a large pile of money used as bribery①,  is trying his best to escape. What is conveyed by the drawing is both realistic and thought-provoking.

The implication of the given picture can be elaborated in terms of the decline of work-moral values and the view on money. For one thing,  commercial bribery has a very damaging and destructive② effect on the whole society. Firstly,  moral deficiencies as well as the humanity weakness revealed in the action of bribery③ may stain and pollute the atmosphere of professional ethics and cause others to copy. Secondly,  fair competition may be threatened because bribery puts honest businessmen at a disadvantaged position. For another， the bad behavior of commercial bribery is largely driven by “profit”,  showing that those people who are involved in bribery do not have a right view on money. It is true that money is indispensable④,  but,  there is no denying that money should be obtained and spent in a reasonable,  wise and legitimate way.

To eliminate the immoral behavior of bribery thoroughly⑤,  drastic actions should be taken and severe punishment measures should be adopted. Besides,  a positive mental guidance on the right attitude to money should be popularized among the public. Only in this way can we have a fair and sound social environment.

佳作妙译

毫无疑问这幅漫画生动地描述了现代社会一种负面的但是却十分猖獗的现象：商业贿赂。由于惧怕严厉的惩罚，这个人背着一大堆贿赂用的钱落荒而逃。漫画的寓意是十分现实并发人深思的。

上图的寓意可以理解为详细阐述了在金钱冲击下职业道德的沦陷。一方面，商业贿赂对全社会造成恶劣的、毁灭性的影响。首先在贿赂行为中表现出的道德缺陷和人性弱点会破坏和污染职业道德的氛围，不良分子也会效仿。其次，行贿者将破坏公平竞争，诚信经营的商人被置于不利地位。另一方面，商业贿赂行为大多是被利益驱动的，这说明这些人对金钱没有正确的态度。没有金钱的确是万万不能的，但对待金钱，无疑需要取之有道，用之有度。

为了彻底根除贿赂这种道德败坏的行为，应该采取严厉的惩罚措施。另外，应该在公众中逐渐普及正确的金钱观。只有这样，我们才能拥有公平、健全的社会环境。

名师点评

① money used as bribery： 过去分词作定语=定语从句。

写过去分词做定语的步骤：

第一步：写成定语从句：money which is used as bribery；

第二步：省略引导词“which”和be动词“is”变成money used as bribery.

这样，一个定语从句就变成了过去分词做定语。

② damaging and destructive： 近义词叠用，押韵：头韵

③ revealed in the action of bribery： 过去分词作定语，修饰前面的moral deficiencies as well as the humanity weakness，写法参考本文点评第① 条。

④ It is true that money is indispensable： It作形式主语，真正的主语是that从句。

⑤ To eliminate the immoral behavior of…： 为了……。作目的状语。