英语幽默笑话：视力训练 Visual Training
- 阅203The squad were having visual training． One smart recruit was asked by the officer to count how many men composed a digging party in a distant field．The party was so faraway that the men appeared as mere dots， but unhesitatinglythe recru......
英语幽默笑话：救出哪幅画?
- 阅106A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out? The winning reply was: The one nearest the exit. 一份报纸组织了......
英语幽默笑话：A Thank-you Note
- 阅71Once I received a thank-you note from a friend whom I had helped. In the envelope were five lottery tickets that had been scratched, revealing the numbers. Thank you very much for your help, the note read. As a gift, I bought you some lott......
The Doctor Knows Better
- 阅70A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: I think that he is very ill. I am afraid that he is dead. said the doctor. Hearing this, the man moved his h......
Give him another chance 再给他一次机会
- 阅188Husband: I am going to discharge our chauffeur. Four times recently he almost killed me. Wife: Darling, give him another chance. 丈夫：我要解雇我们的司机，最近有四次他差点害死我了。 妻子：亲爱的，再给他一次机会。......
My servant will clean it
- 阅122Two rich ladies were sharing a taxi and talking about the high cost of going anywhere by taxi. One of the ladies said, Taxis are terribly expensive these days. The owners get a lot of money for nothing. Yes, said the other lady, and the dr......
A young girl's likes 一个少女的喜好
- 阅189A young girl was asked by her mother, What do you want to be when you grow up? The girl replied, I want to be an old maid. Her mother was surprised to hear that, and said, Oh,dear, why? The girl said, I dont think I would like to kiss a ma......
I'm Cheering the clock on
- 阅258There was a football game on TV last Saturday evening. The game was between a Spanish team and an Italian team. I sat in front of the TV at 7 oclock, when the game just began. An hour later, my wife came to join me. She seemed to be absent......
英语笑话：A Girl's Wish 小女孩的愿望
- 阅130On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their......
英文小笑话：谁的50分
- 阅117Jacky: I found 50 cents on the sidewalk in front of school.Tommy: I think its mine. I dropped 50 cents there today and couldnt find it.Jacky: But what I found was two quarters.Tommy: Then Im sure its mine. It probably broke when it hit the......
英语笑话：我没有看到另外一块
- 阅134Mother: I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning, Johnny, and now there is only one piece left. Can you explain that?Johnny: Well, I suppose it was so dark that I didnt notice the other. 妈妈：约翰尼，我今天早上在橱子里放了两......
英语小笑话：what do I get 我能得到什么
- 阅161Teacher: If I cut a beefsteak in half and then cut the half in half, what do I get?Tommy: Quarters.Teacher: And then if I cut it twice again?Tommy: Hamburger. 老师：如果我把一块牛排切成两半的两半，我能得到几块儿？汤米：四块。老师：那我要是......
英语笑话：A Small Boy and a Donkey 小男孩与驴子
- 阅221A small boy leading a donkey passed by an Army camp. A couple of soldiers wanted to have some fun with the lad（少年，小伙子） . What are you holding onto your brother so tight for, sonny? asked one of them.So he wont join the army, the yo......
英语笑话：I'm Glad 我很高兴
- 阅204A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. Now, children, said she, has anyone of you ever made someone else glad?Please, teacher, said a small boy, Ive made someone glad yesterday.Well done. Who w......
读点笑话学英语：魔鬼的妹夫
- 阅131A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home. 一位妇人发现丈夫回家的时候总是烂醉如泥，她决定为丈夫治好这个......
A Rithmetic Lesson
- 阅210A little boy bustled（喧闹，忙乱） into a grocery one day with a memorandum（便笺） in his hand. Hello, Mr. Smith,He said, I want thirteen pounds of coffee at 33 cents. Very good, said the grocer, and he noted down the sale. Anything else,......
Don't argue with the children
- 阅209A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because, even though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jon......
Water your flowers every day
- 阅222Flowers need water, said the teacher. Water your flowers every day, or theyll die. One morning Mother saw Marry out in the garden and asked, What are you doing there, Marry? Watering flowers, said Marry. But it is raining now! Oh, it doesn......
When was Rome built
- 阅233Teacher: When was Rome built? Tom: At night. Teacher: Who told you that? Tom: You did. You said Rome wasnt built in a day.......
I want a nightmare 真想做个噩梦
- 阅158Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, Mom, I had a dream last night that Id passed todays exam. Dont trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite. Mother replied. Then I do......