网络英文简写
- 阅280网络聊天时英文也就简写，年轻人应该学学。否则，聊天的时候看不懂，就out了。 下面列举一些典型的网络英文潮语。 btw(by the way)：这个大多数人都会用，就是顺便再说一句的意思。 g2g(got to go)：要走了。原句是Ive got to go。 ttyl(talk to you later)：......
Do What You Can 尽力而为就好
- 阅228In a courtroom, the judge sentenced a criminal to thirty years in prison and the prisoner said, But Sir, I wont live that long! So the judge replied, Dont worry, just do what you can! 在法庭上，法官宣判某个罪犯要服三十年徒刑。犯人说：不过......
Three People 三个人
- 阅106A man visiting a graveyard saw a tombstone that read, Here lies John Kelly, a lawyer and an honest man. How about that! he exclaimed. Theyve got three people buried in one grave. 有一个人参观墓地时见到一块墓碑上写着：在这里安息的是约翰凯利......
Who Are Crooks? 谁是骗子？
- 阅134A newspaper once carried an editorial which stated bluntly（坦率地） that half the city council were crooks. Under penalty of arrest, the editor issued following retraction（撤销） : Half the city council arent crooks. 一次，一份报纸刊登了......
Good Sight 好视力
- 阅223Lawyer: You say you were about thirty-five feet away from the scene of the accident? Just how far can you see clearly? Witness: Well, when I wake up in the morning I see the Sun, and they tell me its about ninety-three million miles away.......
Two roaches 两只蟑螂
- 阅103Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant. I was in that new restaurant across the street, said one. Its so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. Ther......
How can I get into heaven 我怎么才能上天堂
- 阅93If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the poor, would I get into heaven? I asked the children in my Sunday school class. No! the children all answered. If I cleaned the church everyday, mowed the yar......
Your Halo Is Too Tight 光圈太紧了
- 阅213A pious（虔诚的） believer was very serious in his spiritual cultivation. He went to church every Sunday and never missed a ceremony or a baptism（洗礼） . One day, he went to see the doctor. The doctor checked his pulse and gave him a tho......
Who want to go to heaven 谁想去天堂
- 阅126The preacher was vexed（生气的） because a certain member of his congregation（集合，聚会） always fell asleep during the sermon. As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep d......
英语幽默笑话：How to Become Rich 如何致富
- 阅204Little brother: I saw you kiss my elder sister, and if you dont give me a nickel Ill tell my father.Sisters boyfriend: No, dont do that. Heres a nickel.Little brother: That makes a buck and a quarter Ive made this month. 弟弟：我看见你亲我......
英语小笑话：Where's the father? 父亲在哪？
- 阅123Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. Look, said the elder brother. How nice these paintings are! Yes, said the younger, but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father? The elder......
英语小笑话：Two Pieces of Cake 两块蛋糕
- 阅208Two Pieces of Cake Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please? Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two! 两块蛋糕 汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗？ 妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧！......
英语笑话：好孩子 A Good Boy
- 阅250A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday? I gave it to a poor old woman, he answered. Youre a good boy, said the mother proudly. Here are two cents more. But why are you s......
英语笑话：时间对猪有什么意义? Whats time to a pig?
- 阅133One day a visitor from the city came to a small rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hand......
英语幽默笑话：I want a nightmare 想做坏梦
- 阅187Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, Mom, I had a dream last night that Id passed todays exam.Dont trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite. Mother replied.Then I do ho......
谣言再起：Facebook将推出手机 (有声)
- 阅106Tech Week Ahead: Rumors Of A Facebook Phone （文本为音频大致内容，可能与音频并非完全一致，欢迎大家贡献听写稿^^） AUDIE CORNISH, HOST:From NPR News, this is ALL THINGS CONSIDERED. Im Audie Cornish. ROBERT SIEGEL, HOST:Im Robert Siegel, and......
读点笑话学英语：最丑的孩子？
- 阅125A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: Ugh, thats the ugliest baby Ive ever seen. 一位女士抱着她的宝宝上公交车，司机看到后说：额，那是我这辈子见过的最丑的小孩。 The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. S......
英语冷笑话：冷笑话6则带翻译
- 阅411The Climate of New Zealand Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand? Matthew: Very Cold, sir. Teacher: Wrong. Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen! 新西兰的气候 老师：马修，新西兰的气候怎么样? 马修......
英语冷笑话：好孩子 A Good Boy
- 阅140Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday? I gave it to a poor old woman, he answered. Youre a good boy, said the mother proudly. Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested......
英语冷笑话：聪明的老太太 The smart Old Lady
- 阅154An old lady who was very deaf and who thought everything too dear, went into a shop and asked the shopman: How much this stuff? Seven dollars, Madam, it is very cheap. The lady said, It is too much, give it to me for fourteen. I did not sa......